Today, I tried to achieve the opposite of yesterday’s objective – to shrink myself down and appear smaller than I really am.
I did this by dressing in plainly-coloured, oversized and baggy clothing. For the whole day I kept to myself, didn’t speak other than when spoken to, and adopted a rather timid persona in order to effectively “shrink myself down”.
The outcome was rather sad and lonely – whereas I had felt quite upbeat about wearing high heels and being a bit taller yesterday, today was quite a depressing day! I obviously associate smallness with negative emotions such as sadness and loneliness, and found it hard to feel good about myself and about the day when I was apparently smaller than usual.
Even though yesterday’s insights suggested that perhaps I was making a bigger deal out of my height than other people and that perhaps my height didn’t really make me feel that uncomfortable after all, today’s insights suggest that I do still have an issue with my own height and how it relates to my identity. Experiencing height on the other side of the spectrum has helped contextualise and put into perspective how I do indeed have issues with my height, but seldom other people do too. This helps to understand and fathom how this issue can easily be dealt with, solved, and worked on within my self.
We soldier on!!
Little Nicky, Big World. 